November 19, 2004

It feels Like The End Of The World

I haven't talked to my brother in almost a month. That feels like ages! I have notice that every time I go for a long time without talking to him I feel like I have lost sense of reality. It feels like I have lost the very ground underneath my feet - I'm suspended - there isn't a benchmark, I'm missing the check of what is worth it to be alive and going. We caught each other on the messenger, for a few minutes, yesterday but I had to leave for work so we decided that we would catch up today. It was a big plan for me. My plan was:

Ø Get up at 7:30
Ø Shower
Ø Get to talk to Emo for an hour
Ø Do excessive reading for school
Ø Do the regular, quick Thursday-lunch with Steff
Ø Do excessive reading for School
Ø Go to class
Ø Do some more studying
Ø Go to bed

Well, it didn't go that well! Didi called me yesterday asking if I can drive her husband, whose driver's license is suspended, to work. She had cried her eyes out trying to drive the monstrous, old, beat up truck last time. I really wanted to help. That's how I ended up getting up in 7:00, blowing my brother off and driving the worst machine in my life. It was fun, I have to agree. I was on the roof of Captain Frostis when realized that I may not be able to make it for the Thursday-lunch with Steff so I called her it the radio. Funny, 2 minutes later I was on the air - WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF OF CAPTAIN FROSYIS? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…" Dave and me were like " was that about us, just, on the radio?" huh? We did couple of trips to the Yarmouth dump. It was quite a trip. I felt like a bus driver and Dave was stepping on the imaginary brake on the driver's sit. We got to talk and it was good to find, once again, that they care and support each other infinitely. I made it to the lunch and it was as pleasant as always.

Another thing that heppant on the roof, and not quite pleasant, was that I got a call from my manager telling me that the assistant walked out. It's a long and tedious story… The Bottom line is - I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK TOMORROW. I'm sick and tired of the petty shit of small-minded people; I'm just tired. I really don't know how to deal with it; it's hell… I need a break! I just wanna go and work, but I want the rest of the people to work too. I also don't want to work with the lazy-ass, lard-ball Jim - I can't help it I utterly despise him…

I was totally not able to do as much studying as I had planed. I went to school on the verge of an anxiety attack. It was not because I was not prepared but because of the whole work situation (Kate called me before I left for school), my mind was just discombobulated. I caught my self, walking in and out of the classroom before the instructor came in. I wanted to complain; I felt shitty, I couldn't focus. Miraculously though, once the class started all this fainted away. I was happy again; I felt strong and with a purpose, I was alive - there are greater things in the past and present of this world, than the petty, crap-issues of the day-to-day life. And I thing that the best reward was that I got a complete A on my paper. A paper that I had worked extremely hard on and I was one of the few who did as good.
I thing that's enough for a queer day! It's almost 1:00 am and it's time for bed.

Posted by Milen at 12:58 AM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2004

ONHGA-COMOANS effect

ONHGA-COMOANS emails are usually never replied to; they are unpleasant to write and receive too. In this train of thought I wrote a little poem on the topic.

                              Emotions Belated
            
                     Hey Sean Paul,
                     It's the ONHHGA-COMOANS1 email,
                     Belated, from me.
                     
                     You know…
                     It has been what - two weeks?
                     Since you left and I have been late.
                     
                     I've not been late for school
                     Or work, nor even lunch,
                     But I've been late.
                     
                     I've been late from passion,
                     I've been late for you - Sean Paul,
                     I'm expectant.
                     
1 ONHGA-COMOANS - Oh, No! He Has Got A Crush On Me Over A One Night Stand

Posted by Milen at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)

RE: Halloween

I had written this entry but couldn't posted and thus I lost it. The Blog was under construction. Poor Beccam, I don't know how she does it, hat to move all three blogs (hers, mine and Jesse's). She was talking in some alien language of scripts, directories, files etc.

However, I wrote about the fact that I've got a new bed
and that Kate made us dress up at work for Halloween. It was hilarious event - I was a pimp (in my last year costume), Kate a gypsy (she had made her costume) and Scott a biker (in his Sunday clothes).

That was on Saturday the 30th. After work a shot down to Ptown - for a long waited time of fun and leisure. I went to John and Gabo's first. Gabo was in charge with my Halloween impersonation - I didn't know who I'm gonna be. I got there and he was sewing... I realized that I'm to be a half-naked Egyptian Pharaoh. John, as expected, wasn't dressing up. But Dennis joined us and came to be a pretty good Charlie Chaplain under my makeup hand.
I had taken an extra day off so I can relax and enjoy the weekend. It was incredible! it was like "Sunday morning" by Wallace Stevens -

Here are some random moments of the night:


Provincetown is the best place to be at for Halloween. It's magical, it's a big party and a costume-poluza. Everyone is dressed up in costume and everyone is happy and fun. there were Batman and Robin, the Cat woman (who didn't want to lick-clean me so I licked her), Prisoners, Bananas, the three Blind Mice, other fellow Egyptians, Sherlock Holmes and even a Cow. You can see them all in the picture gallery under Halloween 2004.

This year the party was on Saturday night and Sunday, the actual night of Halloween was a bit modest. Yet it was a lot of fun. Marilyn Manson did a guest appearance so did Macy Gray and Sean Paul

Posted by Milen at 09:28 AM | Comments (0)