Jesse Loves Brady

November 30, 2004

Mental Health Day

Tomorrow, I will most likely be taking a necessary mental health day. I will not be able to attend court, and wont be found laying on the couch in the lecture hall alcove. I apologize for any disappointment that I cause, from being absent from school.

Posted by Jesse at 07:09 PM | Comments (0)

November 29, 2004

Tired..But Not How You Might Think

My sister, Bethany, has the worst luck ever. Every time she comes to visit, something goes terribly wrong with her car. A year ago, when she came to visit, she got a flat tire in Wellfleet. Because she had AAA troubles, her and I spent hours on the side of the road. So, this time, when she called me from Wellfleet to tell me she had a flat tire, we both just laughed. What else is new? I ventured out in the dark, and picked her up. We left the car for dead until the morning, as Wellfleet is dark and scary at night. On Saturday, we went to rescue the Ford Contour with the assistance of our 1st foreign AAA guy(you will see why I have to say 1st soon). My sister refrained from the "keep your hands of my AAA guy" speech, as she knows I am no longer single and it is unnecessary. Foreign guy #1 put her donut on, and I followed her to the garage where we went our seperate ways. I assumed that she bought two tires and headed back to UMASS where she belongs. When I arrived home a short time later, she was in the driveway with foreign guy #2 and flat tire #2. Apparently, the garage used poor judgement and only replaced one tire. She had requested two, but they swore all was safe. Foreign guy #2 said she never should have been on the road. Thank you AAA, for ensuring my sister's safety...you dipshits! Now, as far as I know, my sister is back in Dartmouth, two new tires in her possession. The poor thing could have been killed because of someones laziness. Lesson learned: trust your instincts, and demand the service you deserve.

Posted by Jesse at 04:53 PM | Comments (1)

November 28, 2004

Little Miss Blogalot...Not

I apologize for my lack of blogs lately. Because I speak to my two faithful readers in person, I haven't felt the need to blog my heart out. The last four days has been what the school calls "Thanksgiving Vacation". I always think this is a joke, because they allow 4 days, one of which is a holiday, for people to rest. Most people spend the majority of the time traveling, or studying, as professors think it is a gift to give exams after a long weekend. My backpack(Bio textbook included) remains in my car where I left it on Thursday. I have been in desperate need of a break, and that is what I have had this weekend. Though I have not been feeling up to doing much, atleast I have not been knee deep in studies. I am anxious to get back into my routine, and get out and have some fun. I feel my mental state depends on it. Anyone want to play with me?

Posted by Jesse at 04:54 PM | Comments (1)

November 27, 2004

Rough Day

It has been an exhausting 24 hours. It is amazing how much the mind can screw with itself if it is allowed. If anything positive can come from this emotional rollercoaster, it is that I am more aware of how important good communication is to a healthy relationship. I am convinced that everything will be ok, and I am looking to only take positive steps forward. I am going to post a picture, which is helping me to feel better right now.

Drew spent Thanksgiving at my house this year. Because holidays can be difficult for me, this gave me something extra to be thankful for. Not that I don't already have many things to be thankful for.

Posted by Jesse at 04:36 PM | Comments (0)

Tear Jerker

Standing at the edge of this cliff
Gravity being what it is
I'm afraid that I might stumble
‘Cause I've never been this high
I'm so carried away by this place
And the simple beauty of your face
When the walls start to crumble
And I'm helpless to fight

‘Cause you can't ask the sun not to shine
And no one's ever found a way to stop time
Oh baby it's unstoppable
I can't resist at all
I would never try to slow down the wind
Baby it just has to be what it is
And asking me not to love you
Is like asking Niagara not to fall

I can't worry my heart with what if
Maybe I should just give in
And wrap myself around you
And let you take me down
Take me down

‘Cause you can't ask the sun not to shine
And no one's ever found a way to stop time
Oh baby it's unstoppable
I can't resist at all
I would never try to slow down the wind
Baby it just has to be what it is
And asking me not to love you
Is like asking Niagara not to fall

~Sara Evans~

Posted by Jesse at 07:38 AM | Comments (1)

November 23, 2004

Squishy Alert

Squishy Alert! The squishies arrived this AM, as predicted, and I have been surprisingly productive. I had a million and one things to do today, and I have completed all except vacuuming my car. That task always seems to go undone. Oh well, atleast I removed all rotting food and hair scrunchies. My bag is packed for my overnight stay at Drew's tomorrow. I also filled a bag of groceries for him to take to his race on Thursday. I packed and moved things I know I wont be taking with me in January. Good task done, but much more to do. I also wrote many very very boring pages regarding civil rights and other touchy issues. No one warned me that a degree in psychology would require liberal views and a ridiculous amount of pointless writing. I still feel like hell. My stomach and my head both hurt. By tomorrow, the squishies will have taken full effect, and Drew will have to carry me in from the car. Hopefully I will be able to consume some real food by then, so I don't have the shakes to meet his parents. I even have a special hat for the occasion! I will try to take pics for blogging. Wish me luck!

Posted by Jesse at 05:06 PM | Comments (1)

November 22, 2004

Just Another Manic Monday

UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I do not want to move right now. I either need to start working out more, or bowling more. I think I pulled all muscles in my lower extremities. Sad reminder that I have not been moving my ass lately. Time has not allowed for exercise. The semester is coming to an end, and any spare time left in my day has been devoted to sleep(or no sleep), eating, and being in love. I feel sick. Apparently, I took from Drew, whatever he has been suffering from in the past week. I am in a severe state of sleepiness. School is quiet, lab is quiet. I think most people have given up coming. This weeks attendance will be dismal, and no doubt, I will have some sort of exam on Wednesday so that Tatano can be assured I will attend. I cannot wait until Thursday, so that I can eat stuffing and be marry. Have a good week people, don't know if time will allow for a blog update any time soon.

Posted by Jesse at 09:04 AM | Comments (2)

November 18, 2004

Lesson #1

Lesson #1, don't take Unisom at 3 AM, when you know grandma is going to bellow up the stairs at 8. Its like when a dog knows you are going to walk it eventually. It sits at the door and whines and wimpers until you finally take care of business.

Unfortunate side effects of the birth control pill had me up @2 AM. Since old people don't sleep, I went to go visit grandma. Because I know I cannot afford to lose another night's sleep, I popped a Unisom and figured I could grab 5 or 6 more hours. Told grandma I would take her out for shoes and couches today. Big mistake. I think she has been dressed since 5 AM. Rebecca...you will be amazed how well I can relate to the perils you have with your dog. Off I go to the big city, and in new clothes no less!

Posted by Jesse at 08:33 AM | Comments (1)

November 16, 2004

Cubbie And Sassy

Otherwise known as Bethany and Jesse. I miss you sis!

Posted by Jesse at 02:57 PM | Comments (1)

This Counts As A Blog!

Your Beauty lies
in Serenity. Calm, inspiring, and nearly always
level-headed. You have a
peaceful appearance, people know they can trust you
and come to you for advice.
You probably have a soothing and beautiful voice to
match you and you are seen
as a mature, motherly figure. You don't show much
emotion which may make you
appear emotionless and distant at times, but you
are most likely a very
empathetic individual. You keep your head in bad
situations and are calm even in
good ones. You probably wear more flowing clothing
in light pastel colors and
one of your most beautiful feature is your smooth
and young face. Some people
may even be inspired simply by your presence, you
would make a great mediator or
negotiator as people know they can trust and count
on you for a peaceful
solution.

Some Things That Represent You:

Element: Water, Wind Animal: Swan Color:
Blues, Greens, Pastels Song: Only Time by Enya Expression: Reassuring
Smile

Gemstone: Amethyst Mythological Creature: Elfin Kind
Sign: Aquarius Planet: Neptune Hair Color: Light Blonde Eye Color: Blue

Quote: "Peace and trust take years to build and
seconds to shatter."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Jesse at 01:53 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2004

Things Are Looking Up

Life is getting better by the day. I am happy! What can I say. I went to Bio today, and picked up my test with a grade of 95 on the front. Even the Prof was amazed. Also snagged an 85 on a lecture quiz. Then on to lab, where I removed the digestive system from Snowflake, the rat. I have been told that my lab participation is much improved. If I keep up my hard work, I could just earn an A in this class. Small wonder how I will maintain interest, but there are only a few weeks left. Lazy Professors have made it so that I can not utilize the break neck schedule I prepared for the next few weeks. I refuse to take the Vietnam final, until I get the grade for the mid-term I took in September. I am supposed to take a Child Psych Exam this week, but that Professor hasn't written up the exam yet. So here I sit, no less work to do, just a different timeline to do it in. What I love, is that these Professors are adjunct faculty. It isn't like they are teaching 5 classes. Maybe this is happening so that I am forced to slow down, but who knows. Four more weeks and I will be a much happier camper. Then its packin time.

Posted by Jesse at 03:52 PM | Comments (0)

November 14, 2004

Glum Chum

I feel like I have had no weekend. Friday came, family came, Saturday was a blur, and now it is Sunday. My weekend has consisted of food preparation, elderly care, and a few hours with Drew. My Drew time came and went so quickly. I am in letdown mode right now. I feel like I devote 100% of my time to studying, because that is true. Next weekend is looking to be more of the same, only worse, but I refuse to let it happen. I am going to go out and have fun, do something I want to do, and ignore pressures from other people. I am becoming resentful of things I have to do, ie. school, family, housework, because I never get to do things I want to do. My goal over the last few months has been to create balance in my life. I easily backed myself into this "academic corner", and quickly realized it was a recipe for depression and disaster. Letting someone into my life was the first step. Letting someone into my heart was the second. When seeing my sister for just a few hours puts me on cloud nine, I know I am missing out on the simple things in life. I need to start putting things back together, friendships, family, social life. College educations may just be overrated.

Posted by Jesse at 11:47 AM | Comments (1)

November 10, 2004

No No!

You get a blog entry no times! I am just too damn busy to even put my thoughts on paper...or the screen. Whatever...By inspiration from my dear father, I will now express my daily emotions through a little cut and paste of some song lyrics. It is the easiest way for me to say how i am feeling, and it counts as a post. I don't want my blog instructor to get snippy with me. See you late December!

Dancin' in the dark
Middle of the night
Takin' your heart
Holdin' it tight
Emotional touch
Touchin' my skin
Askin' you to do
What you've been doin'
All over again
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think i can keep it all in
I've just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go
It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell i'm under
It's your love
Better than i was
More than i am
All of that happened
By takin' your hand
Who i am now
Is who i've wanted to be
Now that we're together
Stronger than ever, happy and free
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think i can keep it all in
And if you ask me why i'll change
All i gotta do is say your sweet name
It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell i'm under
It's your love
~Gil~

Posted by Jesse at 06:39 PM | Comments (2)

November 01, 2004

Bad Blogger

I know, I know, I am a bad blogger. I go through phases where I blog every day and then I disappear for a week or so. I haven't been blogging because I have been dealing with a lot of stuff that really isn't blog material. It has been a tough time, but I am thinking that things will be looking up real soon. The good news is, that everything that has been changing in my life has been positive. Feeling the emotion of love was not something I had planned on, but suddenly makes getting through the day a lot easier. The comfort that I feel with Drew has given me the strength to take steps and work on things that I have not been able to approach in the past. Granted, I am on the "one step forward, two steps back" path. I feel better than I have in a year. I just have one pesky symptom left, which seems to be completely messing with my head. I had no idea what insomnia can do to a person's mind until about a month and a half ago. The physical stress is one thing, but when I get this tired I find it hard to keep the irrational thoughts out of my head. I am averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night. For me, this is terrible. I use to sleep 8+, so needless to say it is taking its toll on me. So if I disappear from this blog for a few days, I do apologize, and please cut me some slack. Say a prayer for me that I am sleeping. All will be looking up soon.

Posted by Jesse at 09:42 AM | Comments (1)