Jesse Loves Brady

April 29, 2004

New Nickname?

My search for a new nickname is well....lacking.

Bubble3276: mark called me a munchkin today
Bubble3276: i am the middle of a donut
Bubble3276: the unnecessary part
Bubble3276: :-(
Bubble3276: so i requested to be glazed
Bubble3276: possibly jelly filled
SEXHATE1: the cuveted, tender center, that everyone loves
SEXHATE1: lol
Bubble3276: mmm...moist and sticky!
Bubble3276: moist and stick?
Bubble3276: uh oh
Bubble3276: am i sticky?
SEXHATE1: yuck
SEXHATE1: stop right there
Bubble3276: i better go apply more deoderant
Bubble3276: lol

Well...I will keep "Munchkin" in mind. Anyone that would like to add to my list just comment to my blog. Things are interesting. Grandma went to Italy for a week. I have the house to myself...and so far its been uneventful. The outside of my lips have healed up...only for a few cankor sores to move in on the inside. Ugh. My face is a mess....no doubt in response to the lack of artificial hormones being pumped into my body. Brady is supposed to be in charge...but Grandma will be upset to hear that he slept most of the time she was gone..and paid no attention to me. I think I am craving chinese. I have filled my cart at Amazon..and am so tempted to click ORDER. NO JESSE...BAD JESSE! I will chat later...lots to do...nowhere to go!

Posted by Jesse at 03:19 PM | Comments (1)

April 25, 2004

Update

Today has been a lovely day. I moved the couch. I do that alot...to get my aggressions out. I cleaned up the cat's hairball...and gave him a grape to play with which he has conveniently lost under my bed. I finished my novel today...it was pretty good. I always get a let down when they are done. On the lip front...i still look like a freak. I am putting on neosporin all the time...but I dont know if it is helping. I did my three miles this morning..which probably upset the lips..because I was sweating...oh well. I was offline all day...and called for assistance..which always seems to be the antiassistance. I ended up fixing the problem myself after a few hours of fiddling. I rewarded myself with a milky way easter bunny. So much for my diet. I dont think I have ever had a milky way before..it was really good. Oh well...that is my update....I hope you all enjoyed it. Ciao?

Posted by Jesse at 06:28 PM | Comments (1)

April 23, 2004

My Lips

A few weeks ago I bought myself some new face soap. It was a special new release by Stridex. It is only meant to be used intermitently....but like the Jesse we all know...I used it twice a day for...well two weeks. My lips have now blown up on me. For the past week or so I have been fighting this allergic irritation. It looks like I have little wings off of my lips..or like I have been sucking a cherry lollipop with no skill. My dad wanted to know what on earth was wrong with my face. He wants to know if this has something to do with what I have been doing in my spare time. Nice dad....nice. But will anyone believe that it is simply a reaction to soap? I had the same problem a few years ago when I tried retin A. I look like a freak...FREAK...dammit! I will keep applying my bacitracin and hope it gets better. Until then...I may look like I am getting much more play than I really am;)

Posted by Jesse at 05:44 PM | Comments (2)

April 20, 2004

SEX SEX SEX

SEX SEX SEX....Ugh....I have spent the day learning about sex. I had no idea there were so many parts of the body. I really didnt care to know. I got this far without knowing. Its kind of weird to have the lady on the telecourse teaching this stuff. I cant imagine what it would be like to learn about this stuff in a real class. Its like sex ed gone wayyyyy to far. You dont even want to know. And like I need this right now anyways? Well...lets just say I am better versed in the subject than I have ever been. Any takers? HAHA...thats a joke...hold your calls!

On a kitty note...a list of things Brady hates and cries about:

telecourse
treadmill
laptop
cell phone...specifically when I am on it
plants
squirells
fish tank

I am sure this list will have additions. These are just the most recent causes of drama.

Love ya....Pea

Posted by Jesse at 05:01 PM | Comments (0)

April 16, 2004

Picture This

Picture this....Jesse Alias SWTPEA966 cruisin down route 6 in Truro/Wellfleet and travelling at excessive speeds(always atleast 15 mph over). Always on the looking out for inspiring songs and cars with blue lights and the smell of bacon. As I cruised with my sunglasses on I searched the stations like the preset fanatic that I am. I ended up yelling at the top of my lungs....Come To My Window by Melissa Etheridge. I must have looked like such a freak!
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take

Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you

Lol...you get the picture. Only in the safeness of my car can I sing...and a song like this at that. This enlightening experience was only to be followed by that Ms. Independent song...by whoever sings it. You can just imagine what I must have looked like. Very sheek in my peetie. Those that live in the area be warned...I am on the road...emotions to be released through song!

Posted by Jesse at 06:22 PM | Comments (0)

April 15, 2004

PG13

It has been brought to my attention that my 11 year old sister is reading my blog. This means I am officially transitioning this blog to PG 13 material. Luckily for my faithful readers...my life is terribly boring...so the change will not be drastic. Sorry for the change...but its necessary to preserve young minds:)

Posted by Jesse at 05:46 PM | Comments (1)

April 14, 2004

Hormonally Imbalanced Jesse

Introducing!....The even more hormally imbalanced Jesse! Thats right...even worse! J/K I am simply feeling the withdrawals from the cold turkey quiting of birth control pills. After six years, and the strongest prescription out there, I have decided to give my body a break. I figure this will be an extra incentive to stay away from the opposite sex. What you say? This has been the longest I have been single since I was 15...and I am trying to enjoy it. I have contemplated staying away from men until I finish college...so that I can FOCUS...but it is uncertain whether I will have the willpower or not. Until I figure this out...I will be scratching at the door...chomping at the bit...and downright frisky.

Posted by Jesse at 02:33 PM | Comments (1)

April 12, 2004

Genetics

I think genetics is such an amazing thing. When my sisters and I were born...we were all bleach blond with blue eyes. Though our hair has darkened with age...either naturally or chemically...we have remained fair skinned. My Nana always prided herself in her "portuguese" grandbabies. I think she swore that my youngest sister looked more portuguese than the rest. My uncle(my moms youngest brother) had two children over the past few years. Reference pics below.

The first pic is my cousin Adrienne. The second is my cousin Audrey. They are such beautiful girls. They are my first cousins. My puzzlement is...for why are we so pale? Why cant we tan? Why dont we have big beautiful brown eyes? We are the same amount of Portuguese! Genetics is a very interesting thing to me. I am glad Nana got her "portuguese"grandbabies!

Posted by Jesse at 07:39 PM | Comments (0)

April 11, 2004

Making A Mental Note

I found this on MSN...dont know if it will have any relevance to me someday...but it has its good points.
Wouldn't life be a little sweeter if we could all just get along? But when it comes to exes, bad blood too often taints the mix.

The weird thing is, theoretically, you used to think this guy was the bomb! Even if you don't exactly miss being his significant other, maybe you do miss his hilarious sense of humor, his lasagna and the ways he really "gets" you as a person. Okay, so the party's over, but does that mean you drop out of each other's lives forever?

Transitioning from breakup to buddies is a tall order. Even with the best of intentions, it's not always possible to bury the baggage and make a fresh start as friends. But if you're both up for the challenge, the rewards can be great.

If you and your ex want to stay friends, make sure that you:

Give it time. Changes of this magnitude doesn't happen overnight. After a split, there will inevitably be issues to resolve, lives to reconfigure, feet to be gotten back on. It may take a couple of years or more before relating in a whole new way is really workable.

Disconnect old buttons. Didn't it drive you nuts, the way he always left his dirty socks on the floor? Know what? It's not your problem anymore. Detach from old judgments and irritations that bedeviled your former days as a couple. Remember the bigger-picture stuff you really like about him, and let the picky stuff go.

Dredge for grudges. If grudges lay buried in your inner underground, employ grudge-removal techniques forthwith. Whether your style is to sort it out in a journal, with a therapist or by beating hand drums and burning sage, do your homework and work it through. You can't expect to have an honest friendship until you harbor no hard feelings.

Clarify boundaries. Are you absolutely sure you're ready to be friends, and just friends? Is a little tiny part of you secretly yearning to re-spark the old flame, or have a roll in the hay for old times' sake? If so, stop right there. It's not yet time to pursue a platonic friendship if romantic intentions still reside within either of you. Wish each other well, and proceed with establishing your own separate lives for now.

Jettison jealousy. Nobody's expecting you to love the one your ex is with now, but do respect their relationship and be cordial, at least. Still, a little jealousy can be a natural reaction, turning that hip dinner for four suddenly unappetizingly cold and crusty. Suck it up and be nice. Besides, she's the one who gets to deal with that nasty sock habit now.

Offer the olive branch. Accompany it with a slice of humble pie. Forgive yourself, and him, for blunders and bygones. It's a delicate operation, but with wisdom, patience, and care, you can welcome this man you once held most dear, back into your inner circle. Like the old campfire song says, "Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

Posted by Jesse at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)

April 09, 2004

Somewhere Out There

We talked today. First time in five weeks. We talked forever. Longest we have ever talked...EVER. We are going to be ok. I am so proud of you for what you are doing with your life. You are my bestfriend...no matter what happens. I am glad we cleared the air about alot of stuff. I would have been heartbroken if you left without telling me. It made me feel so good to be able to laugh with you. The fact that you were able to smile about times we had....is a huge step in us being able to be friends someday. You are very special to me...and that will never change. Change is hard..and damn miserable...but we know best how to get thru these things. One day when we are both strong...we can get together at the old Double Dragon for some gassy food and yummy mixed drinks. Until then..I will know that you are somewhere out there...being the great person that you are. Until then BOY....best of luck!

Posted by Jesse at 07:54 PM | Comments (0)

My Butt Hurts

Today started with a run on the new treadmill. Dad came yesterday to help me with the final assembly...swears included! He told me when I move...he is going to cut a hole in the side of the house...and throw my stuff out. And he was in a GOOD mood! Anywhoo...i ran for an hour. After about 20 minutes I thought I was gonna die...but I pushed thru the pain and made it to an hour. My weight goal is 110 with muscle tone. Current weight...119. Now that this has been posted it is official...and you must hold me to it!...Summer is coming quickly! I told Rebecca that I think I need a sports bra for my butt...as I run...for more support. I think this would be a good invention for those of us with big bottoms. Maybe I should rush to get the patent. After my run...I showered and nicked my leg really bad behind my knee. That put me in a bad mood. I am feeling pretty good today. Talked to my mom for the first time since XMAS. It was good to catch up with her. She was amazingly understanding. Tho I can imagine it is hard for a parent to hear that their kid has lost their mind. Oh well...I am on the mend...getting exercise...and should be getting a letter any day now!....Or I drive to Bridgewater and spit in their faces. My song of inspiration today...Bounce by Sarah OConner. Bounce baby! I am going to watch the Red Sox. Why...because an unfortunate side effect of my past relationship is a sincere interest in these man sports. So I watch...have some pride for my team...and try to smile!

Posted by Jesse at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2004

Good News

Good News...I got an A on my psych of women test. Though this class may mean nothing where i end up going, it still makes me feel good. It amazes me that no matter how bad things get, or how low I feel...I always manage to pull through the academics. Mark came to visit today. This made me feel really good...since this is the first friend I have seen since December. I cant believe its been that long...but I have been embarrassed with how I have been doing. People have told me its normal to retreat at times like this. All part of the healing process. I feel really bad if I have been neglecting my friends...but honestly I have been doing all that I can handle. I was nervous when Mark was on his way down that I wouldnt be able to handle things...but things we nice and light. Well not all light...Dad stopped by and asked Mark to move the new treadmill to my room with him. Heavy work...not cut out for little girls...I got to carry the directions. Its still in pieces...but in my room none the less. We also took a ride in Mark's new car...very pretty...we went to the lighthouse. Nice walk to look over the ocean. We werent there long...but it was nice to take in the sun for a few minutes. Mark had to depart after an hour or so...but it was really nice to see a friend. I felt good...like maybe I really am on the mend. Few dozen more demanding phones..and I may get an acceptance letter yet!

Posted by Jesse at 09:06 PM | Comments (3)

April 03, 2004

Blog Reader Are You Out There?

There is someone who reads my blog quite frequently and I would like to know who it is. Their domain name is: 618B001. Their IP Address is: 64.80.89. They read at all hours of the day and sometimes many times a day. I would really like to know who you are. I appreciate your frequent visits..because it boosts my counter:) Just comment and let me know if you want.

Posted by Jesse at 08:49 AM | Comments (0)

April 02, 2004

Until We Meet Again

Ok..so I am sick of bloggin about nonsense. I have searched for ways to blog...just so that I can say I had. Gold fish...trips to the beach..and so on. The God honest truth is that I have had what I hope is the worst month of my life. I feel like someone has slammed a chapter of my life closed while I have been screaming to have it reopened. It is hard to say whether I have had a tearless day...which I hope will come soon. Everything...has changed..EVERYTHING. I have said goodbye to so many things and people. I have been sick over it. I began to feel like I was never going to be the same. Like something was missing within me. I am starting to realize, however, that these people and situations have helped me to become who I am. I strong, intellegent, good person. So even though I have to let go...of EVERYTHING, and start over...I am going to be fine. This is what life is about...changes...adjustments..and learning from the past. I will miss my friend that is moving away...but we will keep in touch...HE PROMISES! I will miss the love of my life, but I realize that he is part of me and not all of me. As for people that havent been such good friends lately...its who they are...better I learned now than later. I have learned that nothing is forever. So instead of saying goodbye...I am just saying until we meet again. Life has more meaning than it ever has to me. I know things will come together. My family found out today that my dad doesnt have prostate cancer. I felt like I was getting a sign...finally...that things are going to be ok. What a wake up call tho. Life is too valuable to waste...if you love someone show it...treat your friends well...because you never know when they will go...and live every day to the fullest. Its a new chapter for me to open...and I plan on making the best of it everyday. Anyone on for the ride?

Posted by Jesse at 07:05 PM | Comments (1)