Jesse loves Brady (the cat)

Bad Blogger

I know, I know, I am a bad blogger. I go through phases where I blog every day and then I disappear for a week or so. I haven't been blogging because I have been dealing with a lot of stuff that really isn't blog material. It has been a tough time, but I am thinking that things will be looking up real soon. The good news is, that everything that has been changing in my life has been positive. Feeling the emotion of love was not something I had planned on, but suddenly makes getting through the day a lot easier. The comfort that I feel with Drew has given me the strength to take steps and work on things that I have not been able to approach in the past. Granted, I am on the "one step forward, two steps back" path. I feel better than I have in a year. I just have one pesky symptom left, which seems to be completely messing with my head. I had no idea what insomnia can do to a person's mind until about a month and a half ago. The physical stress is one thing, but when I get this tired I find it hard to keep the irrational thoughts out of my head. I am averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night. For me, this is terrible. I use to sleep 8+, so needless to say it is taking its toll on me. So if I disappear from this blog for a few days, I do apologize, and please cut me some slack. Say a prayer for me that I am sleeping. All will be looking up soon.

Do I Look Pregnant To You?

After my lab midterm, I took a little detour to CVS to get a Go Lean bar, and a 7UP Plus(very good by the way). When I pulled into the parking lot, I searched for a place to park. I bypassed all of the handicapped spaces, and took the first available spot. When I looked up at the side of the building, there was a sign that read, "For pregnant mothers only". I had already taken my key out of the ignition, and was not in the mood to find another spot. I hesitated for a minute, and said screw it. I was wearing big clothes, so I could have been pregnant. How could they have proven it anyways? "Here miss, please pee on this stick so that we can verify your parking location". I have respect for pregnant women, don't get me wrong, but will the spot stay empty all day if a pregnant woman does not shop? I respect handicapped spaces, because I live with a slow moving 80 year old, and because I don't want to pay the ticket. How about a sign reading, "Parking for tired college students". We could use some of those at school, so much so, that I have considered purchasing a 4X4 vehicle simply so that I can off- road with the monster trucks. Why has parking become such a large part of my day? If you ever need me first thing in the morning, I will be driving ring road aimlessly, in search of a place to put my PT Cruiser.

Brrrr...

Its not even November and I am already shivering. 10:00 AM and I am in the computer lab. I spent the last two hours in the lab, where it was about 30 degrees. Slides have been looked at, bones have been inspected, and I even took a gander at a partially dissected rat from afar. Lab practical on Monday. I never do well on lab tests. I have the weekend to prepare for it. I am bundled up in my winter coat. I would like to bring my down comforter to class, but that may offend the professor, as I spend most of my time yawning anyways. More family arrives today, and go figure, I am at school and the charpenters take the day off. I think they are making an honest effort to only be there when I need to study. I hope this weekend will bring me some much needed rest. It took me 45 minutes to get out of bed this morning. Are you sure you want to watch the game with me?;)

Damn Racket

Do you know how hard it is to write a paper with constant hammering going on outside your window? Its nearly impossible. Normally I can bang out a paper like this in 30 minutes, but distractions are slowing my productivity level. It was bad enough that they were outside my bathroom window this morning when I wanted to take a shower. It was even worse when my grandmother decided to scream "Good Morning!" to them from the bottom of my stairs. Now, I know it is no one's fault but my own that I am sleep deprived, but why exactly do we need a sun room? Is it not sunny in any other part of the house? I thought this would be a quick project. Turns out, we are looking at another month of this racket. I may have to start driving to school and working in the library. Huff and puff! I am taking a long walk at 4, regardless of how much I get done!

They Grow Up Too Fast

This is why I am afraid to have daughters!

Pazolt1992: hi
Pazolt1992: how are you
Bubble3276: good you?
Pazolt1992: good
Pazolt1992: i met this guy at school
Bubble3276: oh no..not you too
Pazolt1992: i always knew him but now we are like best friends
Bubble3276: stay away from boys!
Bubble3276: you hear me!
Pazolt1992: yes me too
Bubble3276: that is a direct order!
Pazolt1992: no
Pazolt1992: i like him
Bubble3276: this is your big sister talking!
Pazolt1992: so
Pazolt1992: he is cool
Bubble3276: bethany met a guy at school too
Bubble3276: that is why i am saying this
Pazolt1992: yes i know
Bubble3276: you are 12, boys still have cooties
Bubble3276: and they will for a longtime
Pazolt1992: no they dont
Bubble3276: any interest in being a nun?
Pazolt1992: i really like him
Pazolt1992: and he likes me
Bubble3276: child...you are driving me to drink!
Pazolt1992: so get used to it
Bubble3276: lol
Bubble3276: ok ok
Bubble3276: so boys dont have cooties
Pazolt1992: please dont
Pazolt1992: good girl
Pazolt1992: his name is Austin
Pazolt1992: and no
Bubble3276: now we must have a talk
Pazolt1992: he is some of my classes
Pazolt1992: like music
Bubble3276: what is his last name?
Pazolt1992: we talk
Pazolt1992: Pinto
Bubble3276: Becky Pinto?
Bubble3276: like the bean?
Pazolt1992: the bean
Bubble3276: hold on..have to spit
Pazolt1992: ok
Bubble3276: trying to put myself together, i am going out soon
Pazolt1992: anyway, he always wants me to be his partner and his locker is right next to mine
Bubble3276: that is cute
Bubble3276: i miss having a locker
Bubble3276: partner in what!
Pazolt1992: yes i know
Bubble3276: it better be sports
Pazolt1992: the piano
Pazolt1992: chill
Bubble3276: i need to put my face on...be right back
Bubble3276: you play piano?
Bubble3276: i thought you played flute
Pazolt1992: i play both
Pazolt1992: now i do anyway
Pazolt1992: and im not going to be a becky pinto
Bubble3276: thank god
Bubble3276: deep breath for jesse
Bubble3276: ok..anything else?
Bubble3276: ok..i have to head out, i will be on tonight and we will talk about this more
Bubble3276: and get missy elliot off of your buddy icon
Bubble3276: love you
Pazolt1992: love you too
Pazolt1992: bye

Constant Motion

Today is a day of constant motion. Drove at break neck speed to see Rebecca at court this morning. She was as fun as ever to chat with, then off to BIO 102. 86 on the test, not too shabby considering I took that test with 4 hrs sleep for two days. No attention in class, then off to therapy, which is always a relief. Home around 3 to find out Dad's boat almost sank last night. Down to console him. Now, home. Out of the shower, where I washed off this mornings makeup so I could put on tonights makeup. Dinner at the Red Inn. Too shee shee la la for me, but it isn't my choice. I have to find something respectable to squeeze myself into, and behave myself for the duration of dinner. I suppose the towel I am writing this blog in wouldn't be appropriate. I may knock a few back tonight, considering the rents are showing up early to get a head start. My day will end with a nice unisom tablet, and a Red Sox game. Hopefully a nice chat with someone special too!

Utter Confusion

I am completely confused. So many things going through my head right now. I have no idea where things are going, but atleast I know where I am going. I slept for 11 hours last night, thank god. I was to the point of tears, but amazingly, I wasn't testy or bitchy. Things are changing in my world, and I don't know what to make of it. No one else can figure it out for me, so here I sit, unable to figure it out for myself. Hopefully, some clarity will come soon.

10:47 AM

10:47 AM..but what does that matter in Jesse time? Absolutely nothing. It could be the middle of the night in my world, and I would be wide awake. I can honestly say I am not really tired right now. I feel like I am in an altered state of consciousness, but I am not ready to crash. I went to take my Bio exam early, and it was like taking a test while intoxicated. I was actually giggling at one point. I think I still did well, so maybe there is something to be said for people that enjoy substance. I don't plan on changing my habits by the way. I have lab this afternoon. Cow eye dissection and hearing tests. WHAT? I can't hear anything on most days, so this should be interesting. I am congested and sleep deprived. The computer lab is buzzing with people, most of which are partaking in non-school related computer activities, which I suppose is what I am doing. For fear that I will start to babble, I am going to end this blog before I embarrass myself. Are there two R's in embarrass?

Unbloggable

Simply...unbloggable. :)

Here Goes Nothin!

I can't explain what I am feeling right now, but hopefully after tomorrow night, I will have it figured out.

Ladies Chat

If you are a man, and you have ever wondered what on earth women talk about, I have courteously attached a segment of a chat session for you to enjoy. Here you see, that our conversations are virtually harmless, but highly interesting.
SWTPEA966: i need a tubbie, ill be back
Me is working: ok
SWTPEA966: so clean
SWTPEA966: i even shaved
SWTPEA966: with a new razor!
Me is working: Geez, and it's not even summer
SWTPEA966: i cant stand hairiness
Me is working: mmm, just isn't right
SWTPEA966: ellen is on
SWTPEA966: i love her
Me is working: she's good. I can't stand the view chicks
SWTPEA966: i am trying a new deoderent today
SWTPEA966: ban roll on petal bliss
Me is working: I've never really liked the roll on types
SWTPEA966: i used to use ban
SWTPEA966: then i went to secret powder fresh
SWTPEA966: and dove clear invisible solid..which isnt
Me is working: I use secret, but I think its shower fresh or something
Me is working: it's the gel kind
SWTPEA966: gel kind makes me feel slimey
SWTPEA966: this may be cause for a blog entry
SWTPEA966: what women really talk about
Me is working: mmm.... or a poll question
SWTPEA966: maybe
SWTPEA966: a little cut and paste of the of chat session
Me is working: haha

Stink

A few weeks ago I muttered, "Just because you can't smell yourself, doesn't mean you don't stink". Yes, this is a Jesse witticism, but it really does make sense. This morning, I had a deoderent crisis. If you have ever used powdered deoderent, you know that when they get low they crumble. Well this it did, and all the little pieces fell in my bear claw boots. Normally I have two sticks laying around, but my Secret fell behind my dresser to a place where even I can not wiesel to. So I sprayed myself with Glow by JLo, and headed out to Stop and Shop for some antistink concoction. $12 later, I exited with two different kinds of deoderent, and two different kinds of cough drops. I am fighting off whatever everyone else has had, and its is no fun. I am currently addicted to Ricola, and I also have a bag of vitamin C drops. I am sure I will consume them all by tomorrow, and be treated for diabetes by the next day. I actually fell asleep last night, and slept for an estimated 6 hours. Getting out of bed this morning was difficult, and I went to school dressed like a scrub. Mind you my early morning jaunt to Stop and Shop protected those students in my vicinity from a foul smell of body odor, they were still subjected to my cough drop breathe. I sat off by myself in class today. I find when I sit by myself, I test better and focus more. I hate being by myself, but my grades count on it. I was also trying to quarantine my germs, even though I think I am the last person in the class to catch this disease. Tonight the Red Sox are on. I don't know if my morale can take a repeat performance, but I feel that I should watch out of support for New England. I do not have to be up early in the morning, and no doubt will be wide awake until the wee hours of the night. Wednesday night primetime television is a bummer so, Red Sox it is. I hope you are all having a smashing time for yourselves. Give me a ring so we can chat.

Enough is Enough

I feel like crap. I don't know if this is the beginnings of my catching the cold that everyone and their mother has, or if I am just feeling the effects of the unstoppable stress that I have been overwhelmed by in the past month. My back pain has checked itself in for a case of insomnia. Never in my life have I had trouble sleeping, but in the last month, I have had very little rest. For once in my life, I am putting myself first. The books are put away, and I am making my health a priority(mental and physical). I have to slow down and relax, or I am not going to make it through this semester, plain and simple. My type A, overachiever personalilty is going to land me sick in bed if I don't cut it out. My days will now include plenty of time for sleeping, eating, exercise, and friends. If this requires earning a lower letter grade, so be it. I have had it.

For Fun

01. name: Jesseca Priscilla Pazolt
02. aim:swtpea966, bubble3276, pazolt9382
03. sex: Female
04. birthday: September 3, 1982
05. age: 22
06. star sign: Virgo
07. place of birth: Hyannis, MA
08. current residence: North Truro, MA
09. hair color: blond
10. eye color: blue
11. height: 5'1"
12. writing hand: right
13. do you bite your nails: During midterms and finals
14. can you roll your tongue: no
16. can you raise one eyebrow at a time: sometimes
17. can you blow smoke rings: yes
18. can you blow spit bubbles: no
19. can you cross your eyes: yup
20. colored hair: sun in
21. tattoos and where: rose on lower back
22. piercing and where: 3 holes in each ear
23. do you make your bed daily: mostly
24. what goes on first bra or underwear: undies
25. which shoe goes on first: right
26. speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at someone: sure
27. how much money is usually in your wallet?: 20
28. what jewelry do you wear 24/7: none lately
29. whats sexiest on a guy: eyes
30. whats sexiest on a girl: hair
31. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: on time
32. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: twirl
33. how many cereals are in your cabinet: five
34. what utensils do you use eating pizza: hands
35. do you cook: not really
36. how often do you brush your teeth: atleast twice
37. how often do you shower/bathe: once or twice a day
38. how long do these showers last: 15 mins.
39. hair drying method: air
40. do you paint your nails: i try
41. do you swear: yah
42. do you mumble to yourself: all the time
43. do you spit in public: no
44. do you pee in the shower: thats gross
45. whats in your cd player: nothing
46. person you talk most on the phone with: lately i have been building up Drews phone bills
47. what color is your bedroom: blue
48. do you use an alarm clock: yeah
49. name one thing or person you're obsessed with: don't know
50. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex: yeah
51. ever sunbathed in the nude: no
52. window seat or aisle: aisle
53. whats your sleeping position: on my stomach or side
54. what kind of bed do you like: pillow top
55. in hot weather do you use a blanket: always
56. do you snore: i think so
57. do you sleepwalk: no
58. do you talk in your sleep: i used to
59. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: not anymore
60. how about the light on: sometimes
61. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on: sometimes tv
62. had sex: mmm
63. were kissed or kissed someone: yeah
64. watched bambi: yeah
65. Cried: sure
66. talked on the phone: haha...its attached to my ear lately
67. read a book: only school related stuff lately
68. punched someone: lab parter
69. is music important to you: yea
70. do you sing?: when no one can hear me
71. How many instruments do you play? none well
72. what do you think of Eminem: i think he is a distant relative
73. pop music: like
74. rock music: like
75. punk music: headache
76. rap music: some
77. hip-Hop/RB: like
78. country: some
79. jazz: don't know
80. classical: puts me to sleep
81. new age: don't know
82. what is one band you absolutely love that no one else does or seems to have heard about: I am not that up on things
83. your word (phrase): Bitch ass motherfucker!
___ABC'S
A - Act your age: older
B - Born on what day of the week: labor day weekend sometime
C - Chore you hate: washing bathtub
D - Dad's name? Dana
E - Essential makeup item? coverup
F - Favorite animal? cat
G - Gold or silver? gold
H - Hometown? North Truro, MA
I - Instruments you play? none
J - Job title? student, receptionist
K - Kids? maybe
L - Living arrangements? above grandma's garage
M - Mom's name? Susan
N - Number of people you've slept with? Wow...invasive...5.
O - Overnight hospital stays? many
P - Phobia? falling
Q - Quote you like? anything from office space
R - Religious affiliation? raised catholic
S - Siblings? 2 sisters
T - Time you wake up?6-9
U - Unique habit? unknown
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat? brocolli
W - Worst habit? nervous twitter
X - x-rays you've had? lungs
Z - Zodiac Sign? Virgo

Squishies

Attack of the squishies..and its about damn time. I may have falsely reported that the Squishies had arrived a week ago. Well they hadn't, and a good thing too, because then I wouldn't be nearly as messed up as I thought I was. Word of advice, don't get between me and a peanut butter cup today. You are bound to lose a limb. The rollercoaster of hormonal emotions that have been present over the last week should come to an end shortly. That means I have a few good weeks of normalcy before I start this all over again. Why did I give up synthetic hormones again? My Columbus Day weekend has been spent under a pile of overpriced textbooks. I am not close to being done with my to-do list, which is incredibly discouraging considering I have been working my tank ass off. Speaking of tank ass, I am never going to get rid of the junk in my truck if I keep it up with the ice cream. Does anyone know of a good intervention program around here? If not, be a friend, and stop by and eat with me. I could use the emotional support...I don't even like ice cream.